12 Comments
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Melissa Brock's avatar

Thank you! This is reaffirming my "temporary but not tentative" rule of thumb I've commited myself to as a new New Yorker. This also brings up the discomfort I've felt as a parent in giving space for my children be who they are. Imagining my kids in their Solo experience with no package-sending or checking in to quench my own worry is such a specific muscle I've had to build. It has undoubtedly helped me learn to love better and more fully but it's so radically counter cultural.

Kate Cohen's avatar

“temporary but not tentative” — I love that! Would be easy to think of temporary as a reason not to invest, but it’s the opposite. Or at least, in a satisfying life, it’s the opposite . . .

Melissa Brock's avatar

Yes, exactly! Just as how our immortality can provide clarity and gratitude.

Sady Cohen's avatar

GREAT essay and a wonderful motivation to get off a track you’ve been tempted to abandon. Even if it’s just for a few months.

Steveyo's avatar

I love this edition of "Scratch". Thanks, Ms. Cohen.

Bland, Sidney Rodrick - blandsr's avatar

PBS had a 3 part series on Thoreau which you may have seen. Yours was a most enjoyable incorporation of his life and that of family.

Thanks so much for sharing of family.

Sidney

Sue Parry's avatar

Well, I just discovered that the footnote numbers are links in Substack. They aren’t in the email. That’s gonna help a lot!

Kate Cohen's avatar

Oh good — that's what I was going to suggest: go to the page itself and then you can just hover your cursor over the number to read the footnote without scrolling down.

Sue Parry's avatar

This reminded me that Buddhist monasteries will often let people take temporary vows, and no shame attaches to giving back even ones that were intended to be permanent.

On a completely different matter, I love Scratch, but the footnotes make me crazy! May I suggest putting at least the shorter ones in parentheses instead? That would at least cut down on the constant scrolling back and forth.

Kate Cohen's avatar

Temporary vows! I love it! I think we should all be fine with this! Not think of it as failure or giving up but as a way to put yourself in a position to think about the rest of your life from a different perspective.

Polly Ingraham's avatar

Thanks for this, Kate. Our son just returned from his 10 year reunion! Some special bonding goes on at that place, for sure.

Lena Cohen-Greenberg's avatar

Beauty!!!